Saturday, 25 February 2017

4 People To Avoid Like A Virus If You Want To Be More Successful

Chukwu Emmanuel     February 25, 2017     No comments

Toxic People To Avoid
Photo Credit: clipartfest.com

“People inspire you, or they drain you—pick them wisely.” – Hans F. Hansen

While no man has ever achieved or accomplished anything great without the help of other people, the fact still remains that not all the people in our lives are helpful.

Most people you've been hanging out with for years, including some family members are toxic in nature. Unfortunately, some of these toxic people are not aware of how harmful they've been - it's just a way of life they've built over time.

And on the other hand, some of these people are evil incarnate who derive pleasure in casting others down to a deteriorated state.

Cutting off from toxic people is a worthwhile decision to make if you will ever accomplish anything meaningful in life. But it is one of the toughest decisions you will ever make in life.

Letting some set of people slide out of your sphere of influence is quite necessary or else your potential to succeed will be limited. It's better to stand alone than to stand with people who can hamper your success in life. Think about it!

It's very easy to spot toxic people... They have one thing in common - they drain you. They constantly suck off your creative and productive energy! They slow down your pace in life through negative gestures.

Watch out for the following drainers/ toxic people:

1. Gossipers:

Most productive people I know seldomly engage in idle talks, especially when it's about other people's personal or private affairs.

Apart from the time and energy one tends to waste while gossiping, it is one of the best ways to ruin reputation and relationships with others.
“How much time he gains who does not look to see what his neighbour says or does or thinks, but only at what he does himself, to make it just and holy.” ~ Marcus Aurelius 
If you will be honest to yourself you'll agree with me that quite a number of times spent on tattling about other people's affairs were wasteful. And if you keep hanging out with gossips, sooner or later you'll become toxic too.

Instead of wasting your precious time and energy with gossips - discussing trivia matters, why not channel that time and energy into personal development activities.

Also Read: 12 Reasons Why You Need To Do Personal Brand Evaluation Consistently

2. Judgmental People

Growing up I had a friend who was overly judgmental and nitpicking. On several occasions, his opinions were purely focused on negative aspects...

I remember vividly, the day I shared my dream (of going to the University of Nigeria Nsukka for my degree) with him and he told me several reasons why I could not possibly achieve it.

Fortunately, I didn't take his opinion to heart... I pursued my dream against all odds. And guess what? I achieved it.

Of course, my friend was a good person. He probably didn't know how hurting his judgmental comments were.

Judgmental people always look for ways to downgrade your efforts and constantly remind you of your past failures. Constant association with this kind of people will affect your overall growth in life. Your vision might also be distorted, and your ability to take needful steps toward achieving some personal or professional goals might as well be affected.

3. Envious People

I believe everyone has the tendency to exhibit envy once in awhile. Envy can either be harmless or harmful. It's not easy to differentiate between harmless envy and harmful ones.  For the purpose of this post, we are more concerned about the harmful envious people.

Ignore harmless envious people and cut off completely (if possible) from harmful envious people before their envious behaviors escalate into animosity. Generally, envy grows out of people's insecurities and envious people are likely to steal from you at the slightest chance.

4. Manipulative People:

Manipulative people attempt to exercise unscrupulous influence on others to attain selfish ends while they have no regard for who gets hurt along the way. They like blaming others for the disorders in their lives instead of taking responsibility for their actions.

It's quite difficult to tell if a person is manipulative or not, especially now that they are everywhere -in our homes, schools, workplace, communities, worship centers... So, how then can one spot a manipulative person?

This is how to detect manipulative people - they always shower insincere compliments on the manipulated, they act more enthusiastically than necessary to cover up their intentions and you're mostly afraid to confront them over something wrong they did.

manipulators-use-these-tactics-to-gain-their-selfish-ends


Furthermore, Manipulator uses sarcasm and put-downs to increase fear and self-doubt in the victim. Manipulators use this tactic to make others feel unworthy and therefore defer to them. Shaming tactics can be very subtle such as a fierce look or glance, unpleasant tone of voice, rhetorical comments, subtle sarcasm. Manipulators can make one feel ashamed for even daring to challenge them. It is an effective way to foster a sense of inadequacy in the victim. Playing the victim role: Manipulator portrays him- or herself as a victim of circumstance or of someone else's behavior in order to gain pity, sympathy or evoke compassion and thereby get something from another. Caring and conscientious people cannot stand to see anyone suffering and the manipulator often finds it easy to play on sympathy to get cooperation.


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